April Fools Day
by Space Surfer
Summary: This is a round robin written by Space Surfer, luna fox and wildcat. Enjoy the madness:-) By the way we would also like to introuce Axe Rat who is now writing Gerentex!!!!! Please review us!!!
1. Glaring Rainbow Tyr

April Fool's Day  
  
Authors Notes (Space Surfer): This is silly. We decided to write a round robin but each part we write is in a different character's POV. I'm Harper, Luna Fox is Trance and Wildcat (who writes Lord Of The Rings fiction and is guest starring) as Tyr. Anyway, I hope you'll catch on and enjoy it, please review us! We like the reviews, the reviews are our friends....  
  
Authors Notes (Luna Fox): Errr hi! I've got nothin' to write after that. Space surfer stole everything! (grr) We were in a very dappy mood and a little bit insane but anyway here's the result. Oh and while I'm here I'm going to self-advertise, read and review Emotions are Edible coz nobody is doing and that makes me sad. :-(  
  
Authors Notes (wildcat): Hi, I'm not going to say much other than if there are any things wrong with the way I've written Tyr it's because I don't do Andromeda, sorry but I don't. Therefore I am shouldering any of the blame off onto Space Surfer and luna fox as they made me write this!  
  
Chapter 1 : Glaring Rainbow Tyr  
  
Harper....  
  
"Tyr wait up man, it was only a practical joke" It's all I can do to hold my laughter in as I follow the Neitzschean down the corridor of the Maru. He is stalking to the cockpit after having just woken up to find my April Fool's Joke. Okay so it's not really April, and no one really knows what it is anymore, but I got the date as close as I could. Besides I thought Tyr was getting in touch with his human sense of humour. He turns to glare at me again and this time I burst out laughing. His dreadlocks hang round his face, some painted bright yellow, others blue and a few at the back pink. His eyebrows have been shaved and his bone spurs have been painted a rainbow colour.   
"I think it's very you." I manage to say before retreating quickly into a conduit before a Kodiak chases me back down the corridor.   
  
Tyr...  
  
I growl at the boy and watch him scarper from me into a conduit, like a frightened rabbit down it's hole. To watch his terrified face gives some satisfaction but not nearly enough for what he has done to me. I thought back to the way I looked in the mirror this morning, feeling disgusted at the memory. What was worse is that unless I hide away now for days, most unlikely as on a ship with only seven crew members people tend to notice when you are missing, I will have to be humiliated in front of the others. This is not something that they are likely to let drop.  
  
Trance...  
  
I yawn as I put the hairbrush down next to Molly. I smile at her, she's doing very well. I stroke her small purple flowers before I get up and head out into the corridor. The weirdest thing! I laughed out loud until I covered my mouth. Tyr was multi-coloured!! He looked quite pretty actually but he didn't look impressed. He turns to me and glares at me, I try to look unmoved for his pride's sake, but it doesn't work. He turns away and runs down the corridor. Harper'd better have a good hiding place. It was mean but this was one of the best pranks I've seen him do. I laugh to myself as I go for some breakfast.  
  
Harper...  
  
From my spot perched in the Maru's walls I can hear someone in the corridor. I hold my breath, thinking it's Tyr and I want to give him some time to cool off, he should see what I did last year to Rev with those magnets. Slowly I peek round the corner and se Trance. Smiling I jump down from my hiding spot.   
"Good morning my purple Sparky one!"   
  
Trance......  
  
"Good morning Harper" I say cheerfully.  
  
Harper....  
"Hey are you going for breakfast? Man am I hungry. Wanna head up to the Andromeda's mess our eat here?"   
  
Trance....  
  
"Let's go to the Andromeda." I figure he could use a bigger place to hide in. "Tyr looks pretty this morning."  
  
Harper...  
  
I grin widely "I know, and look at these." I pass her a flexi, containing pictures from the hidden camera in Tyr's mirror. His face is pure shock.   
  
Trance....  
  
I burst into a fit of giggles as Harper hands me the flexi. Poor Tyr, I shouldn't laugh. But it's so hard not to! I wonder how long it takes for eyebrows to grow back..... Suddenly I'm quite worried of what he'll do to Harper for revenge. I guess he deserves it but still I can't help but be on his side.  
  
Tyr...  
  
I stare at myself in the mirror in my quarters as I undress. The mirror is slowly steaming up from the heat of the shower I am running, marring the ridiculousness of my image. I step into the shower armed with shampoo and a scrubbing brush and start working to was the colour away. The water running down the drain is stained a murky brown and for a moment I think that it was working, however I looked up and could still see the mirror from where I was. The colour wasn't coming out enough, my hair and bone spurs were still glowing with reds and blues, What's more I was now getting multicoloured streaks down my back and chest.  
  
Trance....  
  
"Harper, why did you do that this morning?"   
  
Harper....  
  
"Cause it's April Fool's Day. Well kind of. And the idea is making a fool out of some one. It's an Earth thing."   
  
Trance......  
  
"Well I'm glad there's no point in painting me. You haven't done anything to me have you?"  
  
Harper....  
  
"Well....." I grin, looking at her worried face. I hadn't done anything to her at least but she looked kinda cute when she was worried. The only other crew member I had played a joke on this time was Dylan. And looking at the time he had properly found it by now.   
  
Trance.....  
  
"You didn't did you?" I ask worridly. Would he do that to me? Would he???  
  
Harper....  
  
It would be cruel to worry her anymore, "No I didn't, only Tyr and Dylan."   
  
Trance.....   
  
I let out a sigh of relief as he gives in. Teasing me, grr. I have to wonder what he's done to Dylan. "Dylan?" I ask, a mischievous smile spreading across my face.  
  
Harper.....  
  
My grin matches the one Trance is wearing as I explain. "Dylan now has nothing to wear but a pair of luminous pink boxer shorts which also glow in the dark. Wanna go to command?"  
  
Tyr......  
  
An angry voice sounded over the ships speakers. "Harper to command deck." And I momentarily panicked. Had Dylan found out about what he's done to me? How? It's that damned purple girl that told him isn't it. More to the point everyone would find out sooner or later anyway as the paint wasn't coming out. I sat, not sulking really, on my bunk and plotted revenge.  
  
Harper.....  
  
"Harper to command deck."   
I freeze when I hear Dylan's command. "On second thought's I might just hang out in the Maru." I mutter to Trance, turning back to the ship.  
  
Trance...  
  
Oh he's gonna be in for it now. You've gotta admire the bravery, or maybe it was just stupidity. Well anyway I'd be too scared to pick on the captain or a Neitzschean. So I just sit back and let him bring out the laughs for me. I watch him run down the corridor as fast as his little legs can carry him. He disappears around a corridor. I smile and wish him luck quietly before I realise that I haven't had my breakfast yet so I head on towards mess.  
  
Harper....  
  
I quickly dive into another conduit, being small has it's advantages too, and crawl deep into the ship. I know that Dylan and Tyr hate crawling around in here so I should be safe from both the Neitzschean and the captain. I pull out the flexi that I stuck in my tool belt. I can't wait to show this picture to Beka. I turn a corner and find what I'm looking for, a open console I was working on, I place the picture inside and seal the conduit shut. It should be safe until he calms down.   
Suddenly I hear movement in the conduit and I run over to the ladder, and I'm half way up when a hand grabs my leg. I look down to see Dylan, still in pink boxer shorts. It's all I can do to hold in my laugh. He scowls and I give him a smile. Time to play the innocence card. "Hey boss. What happened to your clothes?"   
Before he can answer the ship rocked under heavy fire. Beka's voice came over the speaker's. "Dylan we've got unknown ships firing at us."  
  
Tyr...  
  
The ship jolted, in the way that it does when you are under fire.  
The ship's voice sounded, "We are under enemy fire. All crew to the Command Deck."  
I curse under my breath. As Weapons Officer I can hardly ignore an attack, and besides letting those inferior beings handle the situation without me will most likely cause my death. Knowing Captain Hunt he will attempt to negotiate with them even as they blow us out of existence. I will just have to suffer the torment of my crew members.  
I quickly get dressed and run to Command Deck, hoping our current dilemma will detract from my hair.  
  
Trance...  
  
I run to command deck to find everyone except Dylan, Harper, Tyr and Rev. So really it was just me, Beka and Rommie. I dash to my station and await commands. Rev comes in and makes it to his own station. His eyes widened and I turn to the doors to see what was wrong. Tyr stood in the doorway looking down at the floor. Okay I know this is a serious situation but I let myself let out a giggle. Rev sighed with a slight hint of amusement I noticed and said. "Ah it's April Fool's day again is it?" Tyr ignored him and stood Behind the console.  
  
Tyr...  
  
I laugh out loud as Dylan enters the room. Apparently I was not the only one that the boy decided to play a trick on. Our fearless captain appears to be wearing something from Harper's own wardrobe. The blinding fluorescent boxers, made me feel a little better. Dylan however looked less impressed. He tried to ignore it and barked orders at us to get us focussed on the situation. It did not give the desired effect and they all only got into gear when another blast rocked the ship, this one sending sparks flying from one of the consoles.  
  
Harper....  
  
After Dylan and me had run to command I jumped over the railing to my station and watched Dylan and Tyr. Tyr should at least feel thankful now he's seen the prank I pulled on Dylan. Trance's console sparked dangerously as the enemy ships hit us again.   
"Tyr open fire" Dylan ordered, running to his own station.   
"Dylan a ship in docking in hanger bay 12" Rommie said. "They knew the access code's"   
"Tyr, you and Harper go down there and meet our guests" Dylan ordered without looking back.   
I glance at the Neitzschean on the other side of the deck. Uh oh.   
  
Tyr....  
  
"Captain Hunt!" He turned to look at me and saw what I was going to say. "I refuse to meet anybody while in this state!"  
  
Harper....  
  
"No argument Tyr." Dylan said. "I don't want them getting any further onto the ship."   
I pull my weapon out of it's holster and run over to the door, pausing in the entrance, waiting for Tyr.   
  
Tyr...  
  
I was going to suggest sending Beka. Of the lot of them she's the best shot and the person I trust most to save our asses but I could see there was no point in arguing and unfortunately I knew that for once the human was right. But why did it have to be with Harper? I though about getting him caught in the crossfire and smiled wistfully, a pity that I am not that cold hearted, hanging around human too long must have made me soft.  
  
Harper....  
  
Finally, after one final glare at Dylan, Tyr runs up to me, growling what I'm going to take as 'get a move on'. Besides I think he said it in Neitzschean anyway.   
  
Trance....  
  
Oh why did Dylan send Tyr with Harper? He's going to get him killed! Maybe that's his plan. No no Dylan would never do that! But then again he is wearing luminous pink boxers. I dare to look up at him and have to clamp a hand over my mouth to keep from laughing hysterically. Holding it back's hard work. I jolt, shoulders shaking, eyes tightly shut. Tears roll down my cheeks but I will NOT laugh!!!  
  
Harper....  
  
I follow Tyr's scowling form down to the hanger bay where this rouge ship was. He's ignoring me completely and the silence is kind of unnerving. Beka would kill him if he tired anything, and so would Dylan, wouldn't he?   
We reach the hanger and Tyr puts a finger to his lips to order silence. I open my mouth to tell him that we were being silent already but close it again at his glare.   
  
Trance...  
  
Beka obviously has no problem showing what she thinks of Harper's little pranks. Rainbow Tyr and Dylan in pink luminous underwear. She's crying now and she's making it harder for me to control myself. I'm a little worried though because she hasn't come up for air yet. She's clutching her stomach and I hear her give a little cry of "Ah! Must stop! It hurts! It hurts!" Rommie has taken the controls although I'm not entirely sure that she's fit to fly either! You'd think that being an AI would mean that you can control your body. But apparently not. She has found a use for those tear ducts. Harper might need to fix them when she's done. Dylan glares at her and she insists that she's laughing at Tyr. But it's too obvious.  
  
Harper......  
  
Weapon drawn, Tyr slowly opened the door and fired two warning shots into the hanger. I manage to shout "Nice plan" over the returning fire before we duck round the corner for cover.   
Tyr simply glares at me in reply.   
"Okay, come on, talk to me here"  
Another glare  
"This is really childish ya know"  
More glaring  
I'm about to say something else when a voice calls out.   
"Mr Anasazi, Mr Harper, would you care to show yourselves?"  
I knew that voice.   
Gerentex. 


	2. Trapped Between a Rat and a Harper Place

Authors Notes : Why will no1 review the insanity??????? We need reviews to live!!!!!!! And even if this is a piece of crap, if we don't live then we shan't be around to write our normal stories. :-( Thanx to those 2 who did review MaryRose and whoever left the annoymous review. C they liked it! - wildcat  
  
Trapped between a Rat and a Harper place  
  
Harper...  
  
Great, the rat. My list of people that want to kill me is getting longer and longer today. I grip my gun tighter and try to look round the corner without letting my head become a target I look at Tyr and mouth 'Now what?' but again we're back to the glaring. Grr!  
Well two can play at that game Mister Will-to-power.  
  
Gerentex...  
  
Damn that speedy little runt. I had a good shot at him too. I hope that traitor of a Neitzschean doesn't have that big gun with him. Oh well I'll have to be careful not to get their blood on my zebra skinned blazer. Lets have a game of cat and mouse. No wait...  
"Harper, really your behind the wall, I can see your hair. Mr Anasazi I can hear your chain mail, show yourselves."   
  
Harper...  
  
Ah Fuzzbuckets © !!!   
  
Tyr...  
  
Damnit! I stood up and faced him, drawing my gun and holding down by my side, finger on the trigger. I suddenly realised that I was still painted those ridiculous colours and cursed under my breath. I looked round for a deep hole to appear and swallow me up. As there appeared to be non, I chose to try to ignore it.  
"What brings you here?"  
  
Harper...  
  
Okay so I should give Tyr some backup... Raising my weapon and trying not to laugh as I see Tyr again (I should really find a good hiding place!). Gerentex and his posse are standing in front of us weapons also raised, but staring wide eyed at Tyr.   
"Plan?" I asked my Neitzschean companion. It's pointless talking to the rat as all we're gonna get is death threats.   
  
Trance...  
  
Dylan's (at first) comical glare stared to scare me so I decided to follow Harper and Tyr to make sure they didn't kill each other. The tears were flowing down my cheeks, I've never laughed so hard. I actually thought I heard Dylan growl! Tyr is rubbing off on everyone! He really is taking over the ship. Anyway, returning to the present, I turned and ran. Fast.  
  
Harper...  
  
Okay in about 30 seconds Gerentex and his playmates have managed to disarm us and is now leading us towards the command deck. How does he do that. I managed to mutter a "Have you been practising?"   
Of course all I got was a punch in return and a figure if I keep up the sarcasm I'm gonna be as colourful as Tyr...  
  
Tyr...  
  
Grr Argh! Can this day get any worse? Probably not.  
  
Harper...  
  
Fuzz! Can this day get any worse? Probably not.   
  
Gerentex…  
  
WHAT!!! (Note from Axe Rat - Think the first episode). Can this day get any better? Probably…  
  
Trance...  
  
I could hear gun fire from down the corridor, but now it was silent. Mittens! They're fighting! They can never do anything without fighting! I speeded up to save Harper. (You learn after a while that it's always Harper.)  
  
Gerentex….  
  
"So monkey brain, so nice to see you again. I was wondering if we could have a discussion about a certain diary"   
  
Harper…  
  
"Drop dead rat face, and I mean that literary"   
  
Gerentex…  
  
"Ladies first my young monkey brain!" Ha! What a comical yet intelligent thing to say! I am so evil I hate my self. God! I AM EVIL! I think I should change my name or something… may be something like 'The Masked Avenger.' Wait ,I think that's taken? Anyway…  
  
Mr. Anasazi, I see Disco has still to die in someone else's mind as well as my own. I think I'll moonwalk to get him in some kind of Neitzschean dance craze or something…  
  
"Get going Primate!" Now push him to seal the deal. That's it Harper, whimper under the wrath of Gerentex!  
  
Harper….  
  
Ouch!!!! Walls are NOT meant to be bounced off! These primate comments are beginning to annoy me now…. Right, focus Harper, I need to get my genius brain into gear and work out how to get out of this mess. Right, think genius think…. This could take longer then I thought. Suddenly I see a purple tail out of the corner of my eye disappearing ahead of us and heading back up to command. Trance!!! My perfect purple personal pixie saviour! All I need to do now is distract Gerentex, shouldn't be too hard.   
"Did you hear that?"   
  
Gerentex…  
  
"Hear what?" that was weird. I heard nothing. I get a shiver down my spine and realise that there was actually more members of the crew still on board.  
"Captain Valentine! Where is Captain Valentine?" I see the smirk on Harpers face. I have more men in my group. I out number them three to one! They can't be thinking of trying to get away. Or are they? I think I should watch out for Dylan Hunt and Trance. She is so annoying, but helpful. She had her chance to join my crusade but no she had to turn all noble!  
Back to the point at hand. I need to control these puppets of mine. But how?  
"Monkey Boy, what exactly did you here?" This 'sound' was quite unnerving.  
  
  
Harper….  
  
I hold back my grin and force myself not to make eye contact with Tyr. If I know my Neitzschean he would have seen Trance too and know what I'm doing.  
"That noise"   
  
Gerentex….  
  
"What noise?"  
  
Harper…  
  
"That noise!"  
  
Gerentex….  
  
"What kind of noise?"  
  
Harper…  
  
"That weird kind of noise"  
  
Gerentex….  
  
"What weird noise?"  
  
Harper….  
  
Okay time to add some panic….  
"That 'engines going critical' kind of noise"  
  
Gerentex…  
  
"That noise you get when 'the ships going to go into a complete shut down' kind of noise?"  
  
Harper…  
  
Okay it's hard to keep my face straight.  
"No the 'the ship doesn't have much time left before it blows and Harper better get down to the engine room to fix it' kind of noise."   
This is almost too easy…  
  
Gerentex….  
  
Right, I need someone who Harper can easily knock out and slowly manage to gain back control of the ship without my knowing.  
"You, Henchman #3, Take Mr Harper to the engine room and fix this problem. Then return to the bridge. We should already be there."  
  
"Everyone else, follow me to the armoury. We need ammo!"  
  
Harper…  
  
Okay Henchman #3 is huge! And by huge I mean HUGE!!! Like a Tyr and Dylan mutation. Where does Gerentex get these people?   
Time for one more lie. If I'm going get control back then I need Tyr to knock this guy out.   
"I need Tyr, I need two command code to over ride it"  
  
Gerentex….  
  
Grr… How many more stops do we have to make! I already had to stop at the mess because no one had eaten and I had to cook. Using only a lettuce and several grams of mutton, and a rev roast beef. Even though it is high in fat and had to cook just right they still take advantage of me! Oh how the irony hurts! Wait is there any irony?  
  
"Henchman #4, go with them, watch out for the other crew members, if it's purple, I want it alive, No Disintegrations!"  
  
"As you wish." Rumbled Henchman #4. Of they went.  
  
"Gentlemen, to the Bridge!"  
  
(A/N: From Space Surfer and Axe Rat - Okay so we got kinda carried away with our parts…sorry, but hoped you liked it! J ) 


End file.
